Moving to a new country in your forties is a bit like someone hitting the reset button on your life. My husband and I had spent years debating whether we should leave South Africa, and when we finally made the leap to Ireland, we had no idea just how much our world was about to change.

The emotional baggage you can't pack

Before we left, we had to decide what to take, what to sell, and what to leave behind. It sounds simple, but when you're staring at a dining room table that's hosted years of family dinners, it suddenly becomes emotional. It's not about the table itself, but the memories attached to it. The same goes for old letters, photos, and sentimental keepsakes. You realise you can't take everything with you, and in that moment, you start rediscovering yourself. What really matters? What defines you? And what can you let go of?

Eventually, we packed up our lives into a few suitcases and boxes, filled with forty years of memories, and set off into the unknown. It was exciting, terrifying, and surreal all at once.

Everyday life becomes an adventure

We thought Ireland would be quite similar to South Africa, but we quickly realised just how different even the smallest things were. Grocery shopping, for example, turned into a two-hour mission. Nothing looked familiar. The brands were different, the store layout was confusing, and I found myself converting prices into a currency I understood. Then, at the checkout, I stood there waiting for someone to pack my groceries-only to realise that in Ireland, you do it yourself. Lesson learned.

Then there was the petrol station. In South Africa, someone fills your car for you. In Ireland, you do it yourself. I stood there, staring at the pump, wondering what would happen when I lifted the handle. Would I flood the forecourt? Would the car explode? But I braved it, and to my relief, nothing catastrophic happened. The people inside the shop must have spotted my hesitation because the moment I walked in to pay, they asked where I was from. My accent had given me away, but it led to a lovely conversation, and I left feeling just a little bit more confident.

Everything is only new once.

A friend said this to me, and it stuck. Every awkward moment, every confusing experience, every time I felt completely out of my depth-it was only new once. And after that, it became normal.

Starting from scratch

Then came the admin. Opening bank accounts, registering with authorities, enrolling our children in school-it felt like learning to walk all over again. I had spent decades understanding how taxes, salaries, and medical bills worked in South Africa, but in Ireland, it was like reading a foreign language. Every form, every process, every rule was different. It was overwhelming, but we had no choice but to figure it out.

Even school was a shock. In South Africa, each grade has multiple classes with twenty to thirty students in each. In Ireland, our son's entire school had only sixteen children. It was a completely different world.

Finding familiarity in the unfamiliar

One evening, we decided to go to the pub to watch the rugby. As we walked in, the conversation stopped, and every head turned to look at us. We were the new faces in town. We quietly ordered a Guinness, sat down, and hoped to blend in. But then the questions started. Where are you from? What brought you here? And before we knew it, we were in the middle of a warm, friendly conversation. The Irish reputation for being welcoming and kind? Absolutely true.

Moving to a new country in your forties is like someone hitting the reset button on your life.

The turning point

One morning, after dropping my son at school, a woman I had never spoken to before invited me for coffee. It was completely unplanned, but I said yes. We sat in her home, chatting about life, and she simply wanted to know how she could help. That small act of kindness was a turning point. It gave me hope that we would settle, that we would make friends, and that we would find our place in this new country.

That small act of kindness was a turning point. It gave me hope that we would settle, that we would make friends, and that we would find our place in this new country.

Embracing the journey

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